tell the person that its not acceptable, if it happens again, quit the job
Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
11–20 of 28 posts
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#12When did you get this job? Has something similar happened to you before?
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#13That sounds like it sucks. We'd probably need some more information to help though. Who shouted at you, what did they say, what is their working relationship to you?
Why did you travel 10000km for a job? Is it just for that job, or did you travel to that place because you want to be there and you picked this job? Can you go back.
So many questions. Maybe tell us a bit more about the situation and you'll get some better thought out responses in return. Otherwise it is guesswork.
I see you are giving some more information in the thread, but it would be good to hear a lot more. Do it in a way that protects anonymity of course.
Someone shouting at you is bad, and it's a red flag for me to think about quitting* but not necessarily enough by it's own to quit a job.
* Because even if it is a colleague not the boss, its an organization that has a culture where this is acceptable. And most likely it will happen again. And I don't have the zen abilities to let stuff like that go. infact it would ruin my physical and mental health. Workplaces where I am bullied are an instant quit for me, but thats based on a bunch of reasons that might not apply to other people.
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#14Start looking for a new job.
Unfortunately my visa is attached to my employer for one year. If I look for a new job I have to go through the visa application process again.
> If I look for a new job I have to go through the visa application process again.
If you are a sensitive person who cannot tolerate being shouted at then I'd say it's not a big issue if you go through the visa process again. If you are truly miserable in your current situation like you said, then it's not good for your mental health to stay there longer than absolutely necessary.
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#15Earlier quoted context omitted.
From your post it's hard to work out if the reason you were shouted at was due to a work issue, or someone being rude? If it's the later just ignore it, don't let them get your back up; if it's a work issue ask them to explain carmly what was wrong as shouting doesn't solve the problem...
It was due a work issue. Basically my boss is not happy with performance.
Some people, and even cultures, are more into shouting than others are. Perhaps this is just normal. I've seen it in marriages, where a non-shouter joins up with a shouter. The non-shouter thinks that things are going very badly, while the shouter wouldn't mind some shouting back in the other direction and won't take complaints seriously unless shouted.
Good luck figuring out if this is the case.
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#16Sorry to hear you had to go through this.
Shouting is a sign of weakness on the part of your boss. Why he had a weak moment? There might be dozens of reasons big or small and we certainly can't, but maybe you can put how it happened into context a bit. Maybe your boss had a bad day or was hangry, maybe he is under some heavy professional or private stress, maybe he just got some really bad news just before this happened.
In any case, this is a total no go, and if I were you, I'd draw a line. I personally have a three strike policy if someone treats me extremely unfairly. If it happens the first time it may be annoying, but maybe I also didn't get the full picture. I'll tell the person that what happened made me extremely uncomfortable and that I need to know the context of why it happened. I will also tell the person on that first occasion, that if it happens a second time its on them and the third time we're done and I'll show no regret or mercy in cutting ties or taking appropriate action against their behavior.
This system helps me to stay calm and focussed if stuff happens as I know already how it will play out and I don't worry about the future that much.
I don't know your context, but if you're a software engineer who was hired at a company 10k away be aware that you're on the long end of the stick here. You will most likely find employment again - and hopefully know what to look out for the second time. Do not be afraid to ask direct questions, I would say that is much more socially accepted in Western Europe (most of all in Germany) than in Asian cultures - as far as I'm aware of, please correct me if I'm wrong.
Godspeed and if you want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out (mail in profile). I'm a good listener.
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#17It may not be uncommon in some regions of Bavaria/Austria to directly communicate negative emotions. It is also not uncommon to personally insult the person who caused the negative emotions.
In those regions the feedback scale is shifted as follows:
1. No complaints: Good work done
2. Minor insults: acceptable work delivered
3. Heavy insults on personal level: delivered work should be enhanced
4. Person stops talking to you: delivered work is insufficient
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#18was looking at your other post: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18634871
Looks like you knew this was coming (unless the friend in the other post was you)
I know this could be hard given how your management treats employee, but the best thing you can do is make sure you bring this up in next one on one. See how the response is from the manager. If he takes it personally, dont even bother trying to give more feedback.
Changing teams within the organization can be an option, else best case would be travel back 1000KM :(
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#19Really sorry to hear that. But be the better person and think rationally. Let the other person know that this was not ok behavior. If this has been a pattern then smile and act calm and start to look for a new job.
I know you have traveled far but trust me in retrospect everything will make sense. Just act smartly and not emotionally. But i understand the anger i would get if i am shouted upon.
Re: Ask HN: Traveled 10k km for new job and was just shouted at. What do I do?
#20No job is perfect. There will always be difficult personalities wherever you go. Just remember that you work to live, and not the other way around. Treat this as a learning exercise for your next job.