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Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

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Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#11

Post by ldasj »

muzani wrote: post #8

This is very common where I live. One way out is through freelancing remotely. In Canada, you should be able to find some good remote jobs from the US. Don't look on Upwork or freelancing marketplaces. Something like Toptal offers a good entry barrier and they take care of you as well. Also I understand it's hard to do good work under those conditions, but you should try. My entry into freelancing was when I was work…

I'm curious, did you notice this toxic behavior in other areas too, or just IT? To me it seems like IT has a higher percentage of assholes.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#12

Post by Xelbair »

ldasj wrote: post #11
muzani wrote: post #8

This is very common where I live. One way out is through freelancing remotely. In Canada, you should be able to find some good remote jobs from the US. Don't look on Upwork or freelancing marketplaces. Something like Toptal offers a good entry barrier and they take care of you as well. Also I understand it's hard to do good work under those conditions, but you should try. My entry into freelancing was when I was work…

I'm curious, did you notice this toxic behavior in other areas too, or just IT? To me it seems like IT has a higher percentage of assholes.

I know few fields in which it is way way worse.

Construction work(both field and engineering/project side), surveying and few others.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#13

Post by muzani »

ldasj wrote: post #11
muzani wrote: post #8

This is very common where I live. One way out is through freelancing remotely. In Canada, you should be able to find some good remote jobs from the US. Don't look on Upwork or freelancing marketplaces. Something like Toptal offers a good entry barrier and they take care of you as well. Also I understand it's hard to do good work under those conditions, but you should try. My entry into freelancing was when I was work…

I'm curious, did you notice this toxic behavior in other areas too, or just IT? To me it seems like IT has a higher percentage of assholes.

It's actually far less in IT. A close relative worked in construction. You think tech has bad harassment issues? Construction had open prostitution at work, rape jokes targeted towards the female engineers, and some people would urinate openly.

Anything with undereducated people are also quite toxic. Both the managers and colleagues often have very low willpower and get emotional over small issues, starting fights for small things, like not getting them a drink, or touching their car.

In tech, people are not so replaceable, so most companies have plenty of financial incentive to treat each other respectfully.

Startups can be a little worse than usual, because the people are younger and there's more of a "college" climate.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#14

Post by borplk »

Sorry to hear that.

My suggestion would be to put your energy into finding a new job.

- Do the minimum at work that you can get away with

- Spend the rest of time looking for and applying for new jobs

- Try to fix any problems that prevent you from finding a job

For example if it's a location thing, look for more remote-friendly jobs.

If you are not getting interviews try to debug your resume.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#15

Post by cimmanom »

throwaway46785 wrote: post #3
wesammikhail wrote: post #2

The first question I usually ask in situations such as this is: How much do you have saved up that you can live off of? the game theory will look different if you have a few $$ to lean on vs 0 dollars saved and kids to feed.

I have about $1000 saved, which won't pay the rent ($450 shy of the 1mo rent payment).

Sounds like you need to cut back expenses and start saving more even independent of this job situation.

If you took work at half market rate, what would you do financially? Cut your expenses back to that level for at least 3 months (if not indefinitely), and save like it’s going out of style. That will give you a cushion and the freedom of a few more choices.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#16

Post by throwaway46785 »

borplk wrote: post #14

Sorry to hear that. My suggestion would be to put your energy into finding a new job. - Do the minimum at work that you can get away with - Spend the rest of time looking for and applying for new jobs - Try to fix any problems that prevent you from finding a job For example if it's a location thing, look for more remote-friendly jobs. If you are not getting interviews try to debug your resume.

Its mainly a location issue, I've been seeking remote jobs, but a lot reject citing no previous long term remote experience.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#17

Post by usgroup »

Sorry to hear about that. Here are some tips:

1. Bullies will keep punching you in the face until you fight back. You don’t have to win: just fight back.

2. You’re more likely to lose your job if you’re not respected and you’re less respected if you don’t fight back.

3. Cutting your rates won’t help you find a job: it just makes you entirely undesirable to the market segment you belong in.

If you can, consider this an opportunity to grow as a person and challenge your assumptions about interpersonal relationships. I don’t know you or your situation, so I offer this as just honest advise from what I’m reading.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#18

Post by 0942v8653 »

If you are working 10-12 hours a day, expand your job search to locations which involve a 1-2 hour commute each way. (Assumption: you can find something that only involves 8 hours of work per day.) It will suck, but it will still be better than your current situation. You may be able to WFH some or move house sometime later.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#19

Post by EnderMB »

Where there's smoke, there's usually fire. Does this happen to anyone else on the team? If I were you, I'd (informally) ask others if this is a problem for them, and if it is maybe consider formally putting your foot down to the CEO.

If you feel there is any kind of legal route you can go down, I'd consider talking to a lawyer, in case there is anything that can be done. I'd also ask about the implications of being a whistleblower. One possible route could be to a local newspaper, ensuring that the entire town/city is aware that the company bullies its employees.

Failing all of this, if it's just someone being a bully, fight back. Challenge him on anything offensive he says, and respond back. Also, start cutting your hours back to the hours you're supposed to be working. Tell the boss that any failings in your work is down to him being a shitty manager, and that if he wants anything extra from you his boss either needs to put him on training, or to sack him and get someone that knows what they're doing.

Re: Ask HN: Verbally abusive employer, what do I do?

#20

Post by itamarst »

throwaway46785 wrote: post #16
borplk wrote: post #14

Sorry to hear that. My suggestion would be to put your energy into finding a new job. - Do the minimum at work that you can get away with - Spend the rest of time looking for and applying for new jobs - Try to fix any problems that prevent you from finding a job For example if it's a location thing, look for more remote-friendly jobs. If you are not getting interviews try to debug your resume.

Its mainly a location issue, I've been seeking remote jobs, but a lot reject citing no previous long term remote experience.

You can still get remote jobs if you pitch it right. Basically you need to emphasize ability to work independently and communication skills.

1. "here is project I designed and built on my own"

2. "our team is distributed across two offices, I collaborate with people in other office"

3. "I wrote some code for open source project"

4. "I help customers debug their issues over email/phone/chat"

etc.

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