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Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#11

Post by dole »

thinkingkong wrote: post #4

Genuinely happy youve reached out to a community to help. First off Ill say that you’ll probably get a ton of different answers but nobody can really understand your motivation, your “blocks”, what you think the issues are, etc in a post. That kind of thing takes some work and time with a really good counselor/ therapist. Id really suggest finding someone. Dont go for fancy titles, just look around your area and star…

If you haven't had a regular therapist and start looking, realize that it usually takes a few visits with you mostly talking to establish enough history in order for them to start sorting you out. If you don't start clicking with them in 5-6 sessions or so, look elsewhere.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#12

Post by jtr_47 »

Have you tried a little meditation to help with some symptoms? I recommend this. Sit in a slightly dark room, be comfortable. Close your eyes, relax & take no thought (try it's hard). Do that for 15-30 minutes. Do this at least once a week, more the better. This will help you focus.

Peace and love on your journey. JTR

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#14

Post by badbug »

> I'm 40 this year and as a milestone birthday

It's only a milestone if you make it a milestone. You don't have to participate in these made up events if you don't want to.

I'd recommend the book "a guide to the good life" by William Irvine. It may help you transform your "anhedonia" from something negative to something positive.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#16

Post by phakding »

This is what I realized; no matter how much you love your work/profession when you started out, it's impossible to keep that flame of curiosity and interest after 15-20 years of work. You need to get away from it frequently to rekindle that flame. Find hobbies that have nothing to do with technology or computers or programming like playing instruments, hiking, running, knitting or whatever else that interests you.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#17

Post by glitchc »

Madmallard wrote: post #7

Life is relationships. Put most of your work into those and your mood should improve.

I've found meaningful work to be far more beneficial to my mood. I don't control what other people do and many a times their illogical decisions and the ensuing drama are not a pleasant experience.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 40 this year, and have depression. Any words of wisdom?

#18

Post by dfsegoat »

As others have stated, the biggest thing is to stop beating yourself up - stop calling yourself damaged.

Also, you need to start exercising - it is the only thing for me personally that will keep "the darkness" at bay. The research and neurobiology behind exercise being an effective modulator of mood is all solid.

Further, I recommend you listen to Jocko Podcast [1] - by Jocko Willink, a retired Navy SEAL commander, he does some great interviews with guys like Col. Bill Reeder, who spent several years in a POW camp.

Think about guys like John Mccain, who spent 6 years being tortured, neglected and beaten day in and day out -- and it really starts to put things in perspective, because he put ALL of that trauma aside and went on to lead a fairly remarkable career, and raise a family etc.

1 - http://jockopodcast.com/2017/02/22/63-through-the-valley-my-...

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