Ask HN: Is it ever okay for a physically healthy person to self terminate?

Selfish and unfair of them? Is that not just as selfish, if not more so wanting to save you some pain whilst they must keep theirs - for your or society's convenience? Would you restrict loved ones from risky activities for the same reasoning?

A friend's grandfather killed himself a week or two after his lifelong wife died. The family view seemed to be it was rather touching. I got no impression anyone felt it was unfair. My friend certainly didn't.

After my dad died my mother lost interest in life. For the whole of the rest of her life she wasn't enjoying it, deeply missed my father, and was really just going through the motions. Not that she'd ever admit that though most saw it clearly. She wasn't likely to be remarrying in her 70s.

She died of natural causes. Had she taken her life, I'd have been upset, just as I was when she died. I think all her friends and family would have understood, and I certainly wouldn't have thought less of her. It wouldn't have hurt more. Actually almost certainly less, as it was so clear she was hugely unhappy those last years, even though she "coped" very well.

I sure as hell wouldn't have called it unfair or selfish. I'd have probably thought it fitting, touching or perhaps a relief for her. At the end of the day it is their life to do with as they choose, not mine.

So yes, of course it can be OK, not exclusively for the elderly either.

“On providence” by Seneca provides an interesting view on this.

in my opinion yes, there are multiple situations where id say its ok, there are plenty of ways you can have essentially ruined your life either by fault of your own or through happenstance but its also possible just to have had enough, i think this can be especially true for people who are not what you would call sociable creatures

i dont personally have the desire to interact with others much, ill never be having children or entering a relationship and i have not got a career, just a job that is a means to an end. while ive never been particularly well off ive managed to tick off most everything on my bucket list.

in short i lack purpose and have many times considered that maybe ive had enough, to what end should i continue to struggle on, things will only get harder as the years go on, i have no reason to struggle on so i dont need to be a drain on the resources of the country/world

Immoral according to who?

I think its selfish and unfair to judge other people selfish and unfair just because you want to save yourself the pain of loss.

That said, I do think people have the right to voluntarily end their own existence, but clearly many suicides are a result of temporary mental problems like severe depression, or temporary life problems like crippling debt, job loss or loss of a relationship. These things could have potentially been resolved.

I also think it's totally possible to have just had enough of life as well. It's an unpopular opinion because survival instinct is such a strong force, but I really don't think life is for everybody, and if that person wants to check out they are going to do it whether you like it or not.

A comedian once said;

“Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.”

I tend to agree with that. Not all suicides are the result of mental illness. Some people just want to check out early because they never enjoyed being here, despite not having what outside observers may identify as mental or personal problems.

Some societies glorified suicide, or held it as a way out of dishonour (think the ship's captain locking himself in a room with a bottle of whiskey and a revolver, or the Samurai that accepted their own deaths long before they walked on the battlefield).

I think our attitudes towards suicide are partly social (it alarms us to see members of our own species ending their lives, as it doesn't jive well with our world view) and partly cultural/religious (Abrahamic religions treated suicide as a mortal sin) and other cultures may see the act of self-termination differently.

I also don't think its helpful to throw accusations of 'mental illness' around as easily as we seem to. Whether it is a suicide or a mass murder, instantly jumping to mental illness absolves us of the need to understand this uncomfortable aspect of humanity.

It is easier than accepting the cultural and philisophical factors at play, and the realisation that we are all capable of these acts given the right set of circumstances.

Philosophers have long pondered this question. You can find arguments for and against here;

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy_of_suicide

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/suicide/