Find people easily = do group sports eg. Cycling with others. It happens in every City here in Belgium
Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
11–20 of 110 posts
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#12Is your problem that your are missing out socially or that you are missing interesting problems?
Missing out socially can be solved by regularly doing hobbies. Or connecting with people. Maybe you could also consider doing more customer-facing tasks. Some of the most interesting conversations I have are held with customers, because there I can easily connect to other founders.
If you are bored at work, you should maybe switch positions to a more technical field or set yourself a goal to cash at at the next opportunity and switch jobs.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#13I know "introvert" is an important part of many people's identity, so I don't want to bash that, but this article[0] and some long talks with someone who didn't believe that "introvert" was a thing definitely increased my overall happiness.
TL;DR most people think of introvert/extrovert on one dimension, but in fact some people are both (happy alone, happy in groups) and others are neither (unhappy alone, unhappy in groups). So it makes more sense to think of it as two dimensions (some nice charts in article to visualise this).
Since reading this article I've tried to become more "extrovertable".
Not for everyone - for many it might be best to focus on a single dimension, but it's helped me thinking about it in 2 dimensions and explicitly practicing becoming better at both "skills".
[0] https://www.inc.com/joshua-spodek/there-are-no-such-things-a...
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#14Do you think going back to college will truly resolve that? I suspect it may merely delay it for a while, as you will run into the same issues after you're done with your studies. My advice would be to consider working fewer hours, if possible, so you have more time to pursue those other interests of yours.
I agree and I am skeptical on college front as well, hence seeking advice on how it turned out for others who might have wandered on similar trajectories in life.
It's just that due to various financial constraints and a myopic view of world, I never really considered research as a career. But now as I have become more aware of how world works, i find that to be a bad move in me 20s.
I like learning, problem-solving and in general building new stuff, and this doesn't always intersect with best financial outcomes except in research-as-a-career option I believe.
But, yes thanks for your advice. Already working on this a bit.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#15I pick up litter from my local beach.
:) I like washing utensils, it's very peaceful watching the stream of water clean them away... But it's temporary. I was looking for more of a longer-term over-arching stuff.
That's fair. I mean, I do it every weekend and lead a team of people who do the same, but point taken.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#16> Damn difficult to meet genuine folks after college (Would love any suggestions on where to find them... Definitely not facebook :/ )
This may not be very popular advice around these parts, but it works. Go to the local pub, have a few beers and talk to people. Cultivate an interest in televised sports or whatever else people like to talk about (can't stay I've ever been a huge sports fan, but like a lot of things, the more you know about it, the more interesting it becomes).
Pretty rare that you will meet someone there who becomes a really close friend, but alcohol will make you more comfortable around people, you'll cultivate better social and conversation skills, and some of this will rub off on the rest of your life positively as well.
Exercise moderation of course. But my only regret is that I didn't become a bit of a barfly sooner, it provides instant social connections and even business contacts. For instance a few months ago I had a chat with an HR consultant at a bar. We hit it off, it turned out he enjoyed helping startups, and now he gives me free advice on hiring, performance management, and other things whenever I ask.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#17Do you think going back to college will truly resolve that? I suspect it may merely delay it for a while, as you will run into the same issues after you're done with your studies. My advice would be to consider working fewer hours, if possible, so you have more time to pursue those other interests of yours.
I agree and I am skeptical on college front as well, hence seeking advice on how it turned out for others who might have wandered on similar trajectories in life. It's just that due to various financial constraints and a myopic view of world, I never really considered research as a career. But now as I have become more aware of how world works, i find that to be a bad move in me 20s. I like learning, problem-solving…
I have many friends who took the academic route. They drink more, not in a good way. Experiences vary but I've observed sad people who do not enjoy writing grants and do not get to do the research they always wanted despite going to elite universities for their PhD's.
Adulthood kind of sucks - everywhere.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#18You need to get out of your comfort zone and try new activities / things until you discover something that resonates with who you are.
If you're in the valley, go jump at Skydive Monterey Bay. Sign up for a rock climbing clinic at Castle Rock. Go to wine tastings. Or data science meetups. Or founder events.
As an introvert myself - you will never achieve happiness unless you expand your horizons and open yourself up to serendipity.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#19Been thinking the same thing lately. I'm in my last year of law school and it seems to me that life as I know is changing. I always liked to program, fiddle with computers, read about some obscure computer history but it seems like I've grown quite a bit.
I do not have nearly as much life experience as you do, but my plan for now is to 1) sleep well 2) eat well 3) try to work under my burn rate 4) socialize. I hope that if I stick to this goals things will change and I will at least be able to keep my sanity.
I remember the days when I was working on my Forth interpreter when I thought I could always make myself occupied and happy no matter what my life circumstances are. But now I understand I was being too naive.
The one thing that kinda works is trying to pursue romantic relationships. It's hard for an introvert I know, but if you treat it as a personal side project, things start to lighten up :). Another advice I could give is to spend some money, if you're earning well. I don't know, get a sports car or an expensive cappuccino machine.
Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?
#20I know "introvert" is an important part of many people's identity, so I don't want to bash that, but this article[0] and some long talks with someone who didn't believe that "introvert" was a thing definitely increased my overall happiness. TL;DR most people think of introvert/extrovert on one dimension, but in fact some people are both (happy alone, happy in groups) and others are neither (unhappy alone, unhappy in…
I understand from where you are coming from. But the very point that it takes a lot of effort to be "extrovertable" is an issue. I have tried this and on the weekends where i "extroverted" myself, I feel pretty exhausted by Sunday night and dread the Monday mornings.
Perhaps, I might lie in that "unhappy everywhere" group... but I think I was pretty happy in college around the bunch of other like-minded friends. It's just that those happiness activity metrics might not best match with society's generally accepted metrics. But now that I am more aligned to general things "happy" people do, I usually find myself more aloof and unhappy along with usually tired feeling with all the "extroversion". Have practiced enough for years (especially being a founder of a company now), but it's still pretty tiring :(
Also mostly the happiness experienced in such situations is often temporary and bonds formed are feeble, as I can't keep up the "extroversion" for too long and soon become boring for a lot of people, so I am actually trying to move away from that now :)