Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

11–20 of 136 posts

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#11

Post by unfocused »

I'm like you - full time job, wife (who also works full time), 2 kids under age of 6. I too am tired some nights but some things have changed (for the better):

1. Changed jobs to a balanced work/life job. 2. No longer a developer, but still in IT. 3. 12 minute walking commute (no buses, cars, or bikes) 4. Moved downtown - smaller house than most people, but as noted in #3, walking commute to pretty much everything. 5. My side projects are my kids, as they are very young and are not independent by any means. I've dabbled in tiny project which was python to grab Scotch prices. But that was 6 hours. So yeah, not much time. Also, my "heritage" home is a bottomless pit of maintenance, but kind of fun as the kids get involved.

I would say either you work remote, or work from home 1 day a week if you really like your current job. Is it possible to find a closer job? You can gain at least 1.5 to 2 hours hours a day right there.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#13

Post by mystique »

This is my story basically for many years. I've found having side project is even tougher as a mom than a dad (SO has been better at carving time for himself than me).

What I've found works is to be consistently working on same side project over time, dedicate some me-time and set small goals. Instead of trying too many new things, stick to same side project for months at a time. Also "book" a few hours every 2-3 weeks for myself and go work at a Starbucks instead of staying home. Finally set small achievable goals; what I would want to do in 1 day, spread that over a month.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#14

Post by watty »

Having kids greatly reduced my free-time to work on side projects (or actual work). Getting married reduced my ability to move anywhere anytime or take risks freely. Buying a house with endless projects has also reduced my free time. If I was single and without children I'd probably be making more money at a different company. But I wouldn't be as happy.

Every choice that reduces your time spent developing affects your life as a developer. It doesn't mean you can't be a rockstar as a single dad with 5 kids but it may be harder. Ultimately you have to balance things that make you happy and work.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#15

Post by johngorse »

vbsteven wrote: post #4

Try to get rid of the commute. That's two wasted hours every day. I have a similar 1hour commute but I only need to be in the office 1 day a week. On the other 4 days I get up at the same time (5:30-6:00am) and I work on my side projects until 8am when I bring my daughter to school and my home-work day starts.

Well I must be in the office 4 days per week and 1 day per week I can work from home. Is this 1 day per week your company policy or did you convince your boss that you can pull it off remotely?

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#16

Post by nicostouch »

vbsteven wrote: post #4

Try to get rid of the commute. That's two wasted hours every day. I have a similar 1hour commute but I only need to be in the office 1 day a week. On the other 4 days I get up at the same time (5:30-6:00am) and I work on my side projects until 8am when I bring my daughter to school and my home-work day starts.

Get a self-driving car and just do the side-projects during the commute.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#17

Post by linkregister »

As your kids get older, and especially when they enter school, a large part of the evening will be spent by them doing homework. Their weekends will be spent more with friends and doing activities (organized sports, etc). You'll have more time to yourself.

In the meantime, enjoy your family time because your kids won't always want to spend all their free time with you (they'll have friends and hobbies to compete with you).

Make sure to exercise. So many on HN experience health problems that originate from inadequate exercise. 30 minutes per day should be sufficient.

8 1/2 hours of sleep per night seems to be an hour longer than what I would expect would be necessary, but if you're getting woken up by a baby then that is good time budgeting.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#18

Post by kemiller2002 »

Having kids taught me how to use every spare minute I have. I'm a single parent with 2 kids, so I have no back up to take care of them if I am busy with something else. Half of my free time is spent with my kids, so I have to make everything else count. My process looks a little chaotic, but I carefully plan out what I'm going to do, and when I need to do it by. My entire day is on a mental schedule. Unless I deliberately want to, I waste very little in "screwing around." Everything is mentally prioritized and evaluated.

Having kids emphasized what I already learned in the food industry, don't do silly extraneous tasks ever, and do things as fast as possible without compromising what I do. I rarely wait and do one thing at a time when I'm trying to get stuff done. For example, I'm normally cooking one meal and prepping the kids lunch at the same time.

Unless I absolutely need a break, I don't watch T.V. idly. It maybe in the background, but I'm normally only half paying attention. I turn on CC so I can read the text, and half listen. Watch videos to learn something? You can read (I've heard 4 times) faster than watching a video, so I almost always take that route. The one thing I don't do is listen to podcasts in the car. That is reserved for NPR to catch up on world news.

Most of the time when people want to meet dealing with business, I demand an agenda, then I decide if it's worth it. I've been known to be ruthless at work with this. I focus my life around things like this.

Re: Ask HN: Did your life as a parent affected your life as a developer?

#20

Post by Chyzwar »

vbsteven wrote: post #4

Try to get rid of the commute. That's two wasted hours every day. I have a similar 1hour commute but I only need to be in the office 1 day a week. On the other 4 days I get up at the same time (5:30-6:00am) and I work on my side projects until 8am when I bring my daughter to school and my home-work day starts.

Depends, I travel on train 2h every day. I work on my side projects (I have table reservation and internet from mobile). Additionally I have excuse to leave early.

I wake up 7am, work 8:30am-5pm, 6pm back home. My son is still very small, but long term I plan looking for job with less hours 4/5.

Post reply on HN