Ask HN: Are you happy, well-rounded? (dealing w/ depression/lack of motivation)

I hope you get back into the groove soon. Just stick at it, and eventually you'll get there. Hopefully we all will. :)

The experience cost me my marriage (although that may have been a good thing, looking back on it) but it also cost me a lot in terms of opportunity cost.

You could write a book on this subject but my advice in a nutshell is to find a therapist. If you are like me (and most HN'ers) - highly logic brained - then it can be hard to grasp by yourself the mixed emotions you are feeling in sidw. If, like me, you are really only surrounded by loads of other geek logic brained folk, then there can be few people to really talk this stuff through with - which is why I found informal therapy (counseling, not heavy going psychotherapy) useful rather than chatting with friends, etc.

I worked with my therapist on getting beyond my logic-orientated rationalization thinking and getting a much better understanding of who I am and what I want.

If the original poster wants to drop me an email to chat more, I'd be delighted to talk more.

Once you've got that, take your new-found free time, and do some experimenting / soul-searching. Odds are you "know" what you want, you just don't "know" it. And if you don't, maybe you'll discover it. Take each day as it comes, and don't re-clutter until you've figured things out.

I've also found that music typically helps me a lot, so I make sure to get some frequently. And no, everyone is not handling it "just fine". Everyone struggles at some point, you may just be hitting it earlier / later than those around you. Or they're just hiding it, which is likely more harmful than seeking help, so congratulations. You're already part-way down the correct road.

edit: mimicing what edkennedy says, I've also found that decent exercise and good food are very important. Food's extremely responsible for well-being, but it's easy to devalue.