Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#1

Post by throwawaycs » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 4:25 AM UTC

I'm a CS student. Recently I have been battling with self-doubt a lot. I'm super self-conscious when I'm coding as well as when I'm speaking English--my 3rd language. As a result, I avoid trying to solve hard coding problems. I freak out when I have to pair program with someone or when someone else is reviewing my code. And I tend to make a lot of syntax errors. I also tend to rely on documentation a lot. Furthermore, I tend to make a lot of stupid mistakes when I'm speaking English even though I have been living and attending college in an English-speaking country for the past three years.

Could you guys please give me some advices on how to deal with that issue? Thanks lot!

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#2

Post by thinkingkong » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:11 AM UTC

Hey,

Its a tricky time of day to be asking. Fortunately at least one person is up. ;)

First off there are considerable reasons why this might be happening, and a few ways to deal with it. But its going to be a lot of hard work. Rather than speculating, what Im going to suggest is that you take advantage of any programs at school and talk to a therapist or counsellor that is familiar with these types of issues.

Outside of that, prepare to roll up your sleeves. The mind and body are like an elastic and youre going to have to stretch it a little. You may have been protecting yourself from criticism for a little too long. Avoiding anything too difficult; too easy to fail at. Unfortunately this isnt the best way to grow. Try and be open to criticism, by understanding that its an opinion. Its feedback. Sometimes it helps you get better, and does not rob you of any accomplishment or success, no matter how sleight.

Try things that are difficult and fail. This is sometimes the best way to learn.

Find a mentor or someone you look up to and ask for guidance. You might feel awkward at first, but most people will be flattered. This is a more "safe" way to learn from experience.

Please remember to be kind to yourself during this process. Its easy to have negative self-talk. Be aware when this happens and try and steer your narrative to something that acknowledges your progress; do not rely on comparisons.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#3

Post by henryw » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:22 AM UTC

I think these issues are normal for most people starting out. Just accept that there will be many challenges. With diligence and time, you will be able to conquer them all. Keep pushing yourself and eventually the hard stuff won't be hard anymore.

Accept that you will mistakes, and that it's okay to do so. Correct them and learn from them. Keep working and keep getting better. Your biggest competition is yourself in the past.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#4

Post by Nortey » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:24 AM UTC

Relying on documentation a lot is NOT a bad thing. Your problem solving abilities are important but one could make the argument that your ability to look up how to solve a problem is just as important. I can't count the number of times I've heard developers (including myself) say "Most of my job is just Googling how to solve something...".

When I was in college, once of my classmates only used documentation as an absolute last resort claiming that he didn't want to rely on it in college since he wouldn't be able to rely on it in the 'real world'. Not only was he slow and a pain to work with, but he couldn't have been farther from the truth. Google isn't going anywhere, and if anything its more accessible in the workplace than in a college setting where at times you're forced to write syntax correct code on paper in some unrealistic testing environment.

In short, embrace the documentation :)

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#5

Post by dlss » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:34 AM UTC

You provided a lot of details about what's happening, but not a lot of details about what's going wrong (the emotions)... so I'm not sure if this will apply to you, but I'm going to say it in the hope it'll be useful to someone:

The goal of programming isn't that you perform flawlessly, the goal of programming is to have fun while building something that performs well.

To put that another way: It doesn't matter how many mistakes you make while coding, what matters is that you eventually build something that works. Lean on test cases, write drafts that don't work, say dumb things. It's great. It's learning. Find the flaws, and then fix them -- mistakes don't matter as long as you remove them before shipping the code... and spotting errors seems to be something you're good at :p

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#6

Post by DenisM » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:41 AM UTC

Clearly the anxiety is getting in the way of work and study, so it's time to visit a specialist in psychotherapy. Your college advisors or your primary physician should be able to suggest the right person in your location.

Your English is fine, by the way.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#7

Post by nchelluri » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:44 AM UTC

Let me say right off the bat your written English is impeccable, IMO as a native English speaker. I understand it's quite possible you spent a lot of time reviewing and revising your post... I do that too, with all of the code I feel most proud of :)

I used to be pretty bad at programming. I also used to be pretty bad at walking; when I was born I couldn't even sit up straight or crawl, let alone walk!

I have not always been a big fan of pair programming. In fact sometimes I feel very introverted and just down-right don't want to sit down with a coworker and go through something. But, some of my best memories from school are sitting with my OS and later RTOS partner, who was from China and spoke pretty poor English, and working through our issues into the middle of the night and beyond. And these past few weeks, I've spent hours every day with a very extroverted coworker getting our code just right (it's still not done). I mentioned offhandedly how "dealing with people is a skill, one I'm still working to develop" and he said that he thought I was good at doing it. I asked, "Really?" and he said "yes", and I replied that I really appreciated the comment and the thought.

I don't think I can allay your fears, and I can't say with certainty that they are misplaced, but I believe to some (perhaps large) extent they are. But I understand them, deal with similar issues of my own, and I have a pretty successful career by my standards.

If I were in your shoes, I'd try to sit (alone) and work on some of those hard coding problems. I've heard good things about the book "Cracking the Coding Interview" and I have made a couple of half-assed attempts to go through it, and lately I intend to go at it full force and see where it takes me. I'd also try to list all of the things that I've learned and how far I came from when I first started programming - I learned from the gentle introduction in C for Dummies, quickly got in over my head, and had a friend help me with pointing out all the off-by-one errors in my new fancy lightbar menu code bit that I wrote for Borland C/DOS, and my fancy console input routines. I've looked back on my journey, and taken large steps backwards due to personal issues. But I've always moved forward in the end...

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#8

Post by spotman » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:44 AM UTC

some great advice already posted.

try to not get to lost on where you are and how big of a delta to where you envision it is that you want to be. slow down if needed.

Try to enjoy where you are and master it. give your self credit at the level you are at. be proud of your code even if others are not kind. strive to make it better. always be improving.

be pragmatic. don't get lost in the weeds of politics, status, or any specific sort of rabbit hole that you won't learn from. if you aren't sure whether you will learn from, you probably will.

someone posted recently. if it's not a hell yes, then it's a no. I really like that. don't take on too much.

anxiety can suck. take it one day at a time, and learn to get the courage to ask questions when needed and practice the art of asking questions. it will be invaluable.

if you can find something passionate that excites you, remember this moment. occasionally refer to what makes you passionate and recalibrate as needed. if you find no passion, maybe take a break and revisit later.

good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#9

Post by 88e282102ae2e5b » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 5:51 AM UTC

This is what it's like to learn something real. Also, every programmer makes mistakes. That's never going to stop. Ever. A good IDE will help with syntax errors.

It gets better.

Re: Ask HN: Self-doubt, inferiority complex is killing me. How do I fix that?

#10

Post by shawnps » Sun, Jun 21, 2015, 6:05 AM UTC

My advice is to code more. You will get more accustomed to the thought process that goes into writing code, more accustomed to your editor, and more comfortable with coding overall.

One thing that I did that helped me code more was challenge myself to code every day. Using GitHub helps because you can check your streak. My friend and I did this for about 2 months and we felt very productive. This is his blog post about halfway through: http://www.ironzebra.com/post/105/abc-always-be-coding

Your English is fine. I live abroad and meet people all the time who use English as a second language. Yours is by far some of the best English I've seen from a non-native speaker.