Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
1–10 of 21 posts
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#2I would summarise the first paragraph of text to something that sells the key advantage it has over thousands of other social things: find people at the same location as opposed to your friends. Better yet, figure out why this is important / beneficial / awesome and write this instead (hopefully you already know why it is). One possible way to do this is by leading with a few common use cases in which it's particularly helpful. If you can find a single benefit that covers the majority of the use cases, that's even better.
Ideally, you'll then also find an even better header to replace "Connect and share with everyone at your event!". This headline and its paragraph answer what I can use your app for - which can be enough - but we still need to translate it ourselves to a reason why I want to use it. Make this translation for us.
If this is hard, try first writing a version that doesn't use any of these words: "social" "share" "connect" and "platform". Also try directly copying the value proposition from your business plan (do you have one?), then tweak it a bit grammatically to make sense in its new context. These two exercises should help you see different possibilities of what to do with it.
(I also recommend making it easier to read - perhaps it's because it's night and I dimmed my screen's brightness a lot, but the background of the black text is too dark for me to read easily.)
Does that help?
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#3I would summarise the first paragraph of text to something that sells the key advantage it has over thousands of other social things: find people at the same location as opposed to your friends. Better yet, figure out why this is important / beneficial / awesome and write this instead (hopefully you already know why it is). One possible way to do this is by leading with a few common use cases in which it's particular…
I agree with namenotrequired, but what I would do is talk to your visitors as you would talk to a normal person. When you first described Muro to your friends, did you say "we're building a social event photography platform"? I suspect not, you probably said "We're going to let you groups of people easily share photos based on xyz", or something like that.
Try to stay away from the word "event". It's nice that it's generic, but it also doesn't really give people an idea of how they'd use it. Saying something like "all conference goers photos in one place", "all concert goes", "all ...". You could even do something nice where the only thing change changes is the type of event, and it just scrolls through.
I also don't like your "find out more button", it covers your register button and doesn't look very good. People should be able to figure out that their is more on your page a better way.
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#4[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#5I would summarise the first paragraph of text to something that sells the key advantage it has over thousands of other social things: find people at the same location as opposed to your friends. Better yet, figure out why this is important / beneficial / awesome and write this instead (hopefully you already know why it is). One possible way to do this is by leading with a few common use cases in which it's particular…
I agree with namenotrequired, but what I would do is talk to your visitors as you would talk to a normal person. When you first described Muro to your friends, did you say "we're building a social event photography platform"? I suspect not, you probably said "We're going to let you groups of people easily share photos based on xyz", or something like that. Try to stay away from the word "event". It's nice that it's g…
More good points, thanks for adding to mine.:)
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#61) It seems sorta crowded. I think a lot of websites are crowded, and people undervalue space.
2) I'm still not really sure what exactly it does. Just shows you all the pictures that people who are at the same event as you have taken? Is it convenient to sign up? Is it interesting to see these pictures? Can you meet the people who took them?
3) I don't think the "Learn more" button is necessary. People know that they could learn more by scrolling down. A rule of thumb for design that I believe in is that if it's not really necessary, don't include it (http://37signals.com/svn/archives2/it_just_doesnt_matter.php). Because the cost of added complexity doesn't outweigh the value its presence has.
4) The "Download in the App Store" button seems like it could be placed in a more logical place.
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#7I'm sure others will give you details about information you could provide but I'll give you some feedback design wise. First of all the Facebook button just looks odd, it could be my browser but the "F" looks really weird and doesn't look like a normal Facebook button. Also the bouncing learn more is distracting. I like the midsection quite a lot and the details are great. I guess the header section could still use some work.
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#8Review copy prior to publication.
"Muro is a social event photography platform that allows you to connect and share with others at who are at the same event as you."
You should modify the last subheading to begin with a verb as you do for the first three; otherwise you disrupt the flow of the step-by-step process. ie: "View everyone's photos together."
Have the screenshot on the phone itself transition and the phone background persist.
*edit for clarity
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#9I agree with a lot of the other thoughts. Specifically, the first paragraph needs to be shorter and clearer. (There is also a typo in it "...with others at who are at the same event...")
Also, I would suggest changing the main button from "Register" to "Get Started" or something else.
Re: Ask HN: What would you do to improve this landing page?
#10Change the title : "Connect and share with everyone at your event" just sounds like another random social startup. "Share your event online", or something alike is more understandable.