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Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?

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Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?

#1

Post by desertraven »

At one time, my awkward encounters felt fundamental to me. Though I've come to observe awkwardness in the wild, without my being implicated at the centre (phewph). People just having friendly, but awkward, encounters.

Often when I touch on this topic in company, people will talk about their own difficulties with interacting with fellow humans.

In a way, the awkwardness seems very natural. It would be almost unnatural if we were all completely open and at ease when interacting with one another.

Perhaps social media has a part to play here, or maybe it's the same as it ever was?

Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?

#4

Post by delichon »

This is where Jordan Peterson's lobsters come in handy. They have a similar neurophysiology of socializing to ours in some ways. That demonstrates that far from being a modern problem it isn't even only a mammalian one. It reaches deep into evolution across, at least, the animal kingdom.

And of course it must, because just look at how non-trivial the stakes of social interaction are. It controls access to mates, protection from predators, access to food, etc. Socializing is a game of life and death for our genes. It can be easy, temporarily, to an elite minority. But by the nature of the scarce resources that it controls, social success must always be a limited resource.

When we're miserable from some social failure it's somewhat comforting to remember that we share the pain even with invertebrates.

Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?

#7

Post by huytersd »

Because decorum requires too many rules and society has trained us to be empathetic to the other persons feelings and perspectives. People mostly untouched by the modern world find socializing very easy because they say the first thing that comes to mind.

Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?

#8

Post by pushcx »

delichon wrote: post #4

This is where Jordan Peterson's lobsters come in handy. They have a similar neurophysiology of socializing to ours in some ways. That demonstrates that far from being a modern problem it isn't even only a mammalian one. It reaches deep into evolution across, at least, the animal kingdom. And of course it must, because just look at how non-trivial the stakes of social interaction are. It controls access to mates, prot…

Peterson is wrong about the biology of lobsters. https://biology.stackexchange.com/questions/111615/do-lobste... https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/posteverything/wp/2018/0...

Re: Ask HN: Have humans always found socialising so challenging?

#9

Post by jncfhnb »

huytersd wrote: post #7

Because decorum requires too many rules and society has trained us to be empathetic to the other persons feelings and perspectives. People mostly untouched by the modern world find socializing very easy because they say the first thing that comes to mind.

Citation needed
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