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Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

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Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#1

Post by maligree »

If this ends up dead and nothing more than a semi-introspective rant, so be it, served its purpose.

I started programming when I was 16. I am now over twice that and still programming. I don't like the realities of day-to-day software engineering. I cannot shake the feeling that I've spent the last 16 years doing it just because of... inertia. The 16-year old me just liked to hack around, learn fast, write shoddy scripts that pushed the limits of what I knew. So I know nothing about windows internals but I'd like to write some cheats for a game I'm playing? Let's dive in. And I loved it.

But I never had any love for the "art" of programming. I can, however, say with some confidence that I have a good sense of what makes a good, clean, sustainable solution - but the answer to that question isn't even a matter of programming, but of humans and how we work, and how we use our brains. You know, it's the old "you're too dumb to debug smart code in an emergency at 2AM". This can be extended to 95% of problems in my eyes. We need to be nice to other human beings working with us - that may be other people, or even may be me, but 3 months from now, tired, trying to hit a deadline or find a bug.

I digress, but I think I'm trying to convey the point that... I never really felt at home in my job. It all seemed off. And I have trouble figuring out where the problem lies.

Have you had moments where you did a sober double take and decided to alter your course or commit to it and stay on it? Heck, maybe close the laptop altogether.

I know this topic comes up every once in a while, and the usual answer seems to be burn out, but hopefully I can put a spin on it by focusing on what questions a person can ask themselves to better figure out what they want out of their job in the short, medium and long term.

What questions would you say one can ask themselves to really get to the bottom of it?

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#2

Post by orbz »

One of the mindset shifts I’ve made is to realize that if I’m not enjoying the work it’s probably more a symptom that I’m not believing in the mission of the company I’m working for anymore.

When I’m working on a mission I believe in with like minded people even the most routine busywork is enjoyable.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#3

Post by maligree »

orbz wrote: post #2

One of the mindset shifts I’ve made is to realize that if I’m not enjoying the work it’s probably more a symptom that I’m not believing in the mission of the company I’m working for anymore. When I’m working on a mission I believe in with like minded people even the most routine busywork is enjoyable.

Interesting point! I think there's something to it.

Forgive me if my central European bias is showing, but I've always discounted how important it is to align yourself with the mission of the company you decide to work for. Seemed to me like it's a complete bonus and luxury if the two overlap, and the default is just... work.

Of course as long as the company isn't actively working against something you would consider your values.

But it's definitely a question that can't be ignored if one wants to do some digging.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#4

Post by shanebellone »

All relationships are transactional. Most relationships do not have enduring value. It's ok whatever you decide. I've never worked professionally as a developer. I'm certain I would hate it. Despite this, the pay remains alluring.

Long-term success (satisfaction) is about balance. Maybe there's an opportunity to work less to allow you to explore your wants/needs/path. A short-term change might help you find value in your work or in another industry/company/niche.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#6

Post by luca_null »

The first thing I recommend is to think hard about the other parts of your life. These are the questions I always ask myself to check where my restlessness is coming from:

- Do I fill fulfilment in my life outside work? - Am I satisfied with my activities before I start working and after I'm done? - Do I strive to do any specific thing while at work?

If I get three positive answers, I shift those questions to be work-related:

- Do I fill fulfilment in my work life? - Am I satisfied with my work at the end of the day? - Am I eager to work on something the next day? (I don't want to think about work when I get home, so I try not to think about it).

This is just a tool to see if I'm not satisfied with the current state of my life, and I'm looking for the easiest change I can make to make it more fun. I've changed cities, jobs and fields of education a lot of times just because I wasn't satisfied with the current state of my life and wanted to change anything at any cost. Those questions help me think more clearly if it's the city I am in, the job I'm currently doing, or if anything I'm studying at the moment is making my life miserable. Most of the time, it's just me going with the flow and not taking hold of my time properly.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#7

Post by gringoDan »

I'd examine some of the assumptions underlying your post. Specifically, it seems like you want to find meaning in your work and to feel "at home in your job".

The median reader of Hacker News is in a privileged position to be thinking about these things. In an ideal world, we'd all find fulfillment in our work. But for 90%+ of the world, a job is just a way to put food on the table for your family. Mark Manson is "living his dream job" and "still hates about 30% of it". That's just life. [1]

So, here are some questions to ask:

1. What are your values?

2. Related: What is important about work for you? Is it the compensation? Working for a mission you believe in? Solving challenging problems? Being in an environment where you can learn every day?

3. Do you need to find meaning in your work? Or can you create meaning in other areas of your life?

Once you figure out the misalignment here you either:

a) make peace with what you truly value and want from a job, rather than what you assume you're meant to want or

b) correct the misalignment by finding a new position that reflects your values.

[1] https://markmanson.net/screw-finding-your-passion

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#9

Post by boredemployee »

orbz wrote: post #2

One of the mindset shifts I’ve made is to realize that if I’m not enjoying the work it’s probably more a symptom that I’m not believing in the mission of the company I’m working for anymore. When I’m working on a mission I believe in with like minded people even the most routine busywork is enjoyable.

that one hit home. Just yesterday I was reflecting on my utter unhappiness at work. i'm working in a predator wanna be environment and that alone killed all my enthusiasm. so your input just confirmed that it's time to move on

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#10

Post by saalweachter »

So one question I asked myself is what I needed in life to be happy, and how that related to my job. I settled on three things: a permanent home, a place in a community/family, and some sort of "life's work".

Now, that last one could be a job. I want to work on something meaningful, in a way that -- if I were on my death bed -- I could say to someone else, "carry on my work". I like my job, it's interesting and useful work, but it doesn't have that kind of gravitas.

But I haven't switched jobs yet, and my happiness is generally up & up.

I am also the type of person who nests, who lays down roots; I hated renting and feeling like a transient, I want a garage full of tools where I can build things and a little garden and orchard and to have a space where I feel like I belong. And as much as I'd like to crawl into my little den and hide from the world, I also want to feel like I'm a part of a family and a community, to have people who count on me and like me. To feel like I've made some other people's lives better in some way.

So I've been working on that for now instead of chasing the dream of a job that would provide a meaningful life's work.

Which brings me round to the advice and the question again. Are there things you can work on -- ways you can grow -- outside your career, that would increase your happiness and satisfaction with life?

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