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Quite contrary to what you've written I find the Haskell subredit very useful. The comments are usually well thought out and relevant. I daresay the people on the Haskell subredit …

I thought as much. If the goal is to not write code then writing stored procedures is akin to writing code, just in a different language.

Interesting. I'd like to see how you implement role based access control and sql injection safeguards. How would you define complex validation schemes? In stored procedures?