Viewing profile — Jem

Do you want to learn all of those because you have a genuine interest in doing so, or do you want to learn all of those things because you feel you "should"? I browse HN and read c…

This is just a thin site containing lists of affiliate links. It'd be much more useful if you had actually compared the tools you're linking to and/or ranked or rated them on the f…

"wogrammer"? Really? If there's one thing I don't need (as a woman in tech) it's segregation further from your regular joe programmer. Show me what other women are achieving - FANT…

IMO it's not about avoiding disagreement - I think that modelling appropriate 'conflict' resolution is important for kids - but rather making sure that kids DON'T learn that the ea…

Do your friends lack a backbone? I'm not sure why one has to equal the other. Obviously I can't say for sure that had my parents done X, I would have done Y, but their lack of any …

Anecdotally, if I'd thought of my parents as friends, I perhaps would have been more inclined to tell them that I was being abused as a child. I (personally) would rather blur the …

Not sure that necessitates you being less playful - just back your wife up so that you come across as a team, rather than two individuals who can be played off as each other? It's …

I'm not really sure what your point is?

My poor misunderstood British sense of humour :)

Yes, you're right. All male progammers are in it for the tinkering and the women are just in it for the money.

My mortgage is £477 p/m on a small 2 bedroom semi-detached house. To rent I'd be looking at ~£600p/m for a small 2 bedroom flat (apartment). I'd still have to pay the same utilitie…

Hard to say. As a stay at home mum I felt unfulfilled and lonely. In the early years of returning to work full time I felt guilty for leaving my child in daycare. Working at home (…

Private renting in my area (as with a lot of places in the UK) would be more costly than my current mortgage. I didn't think you were criticising parents who use childcare, least o…

I would be homeless, first and foremost, because I wouldn't be able to pay my mortgage and the bank would seize my assets. Eventually I would be eligible for state benefits and pla…

For me, not using childcare == not working, which means I'd probably lose my home. I'm not sure that risk is worth it.

Are there any studies on working father's impact on children? (A quick google returns a few studies on father's impact but not working ones specifically.) Damned if you do, damned …

Despite this, I had my geek code proudly displayed on my website for years! :) (d- for appearance, although less so these days.)

I too can read anyone like a book, and I'd never really thought about why before but my mum also had a temper and I grew up with 2 separate abusers and left home to a 3rd. I've nev…

No, but I've been one of just a small handful of women at a dev conference and it can be incredibly intimidating. On the plus side, the queues for the loos are always short. ;)

This reminds me of when I go out running at night. I avoid running near men (particularly groups of men) because of a fear that I'll come to harm: specifically rape. It's irrationa…

I also have children, and I'm not sure how it's relevant. Of course you SHOULD be able to tell someone you're offended without the risk of backlash, but it's always a risk. Clearly…

I know what she did. I didn't say I agreed with her approach (quite the opposite, in fact).

Totally agree with your first 3 sentences, can't agree with the last. Finding the courage to stand up and directly address someone who is making you feel uncomfortable - especially…

I get that, and I empathise for Adria, but Hank isn't the perpetrator of the abuse. It's the direction of Adria's anger that shocked me, not that she's angry.

When I was ~17, I was cast out of an online community that I had been working in/with for around 3-4 years. Overnight I lost my hobby, my so-called friends, and my entire personal …